Current mood:

sick

Better late than never, right?
Ok, so a quick update. Work is going well (although there is a lot of it). I'm finally getting some recognition at The Max for working my ass off every day I work. In fact, they're putting a request in to corporate to try to get me a raise. Woohoo!

I thought I was having problems with allergies, but as it turns out I have a cold. Again. I just hope it doesn't last as long as the last one. (a solid month of being sick really, really sucks.) Plus I take the GRE tomorrow, so I'm trying to think healthy thoughts so I'll feel alright for it. Oof. So today I'm just studying and blowing my nose. A lot.

Christmas was great, although too short. I had to work the 24th and the 26th, so Trav and I drove down Friday when we got off of work and then came back on Christmas day. Never the less, it was great to get to spend time with my family. Killy's growing so fast, and he's such a sweetie! Trav and I agree that we have the best nephew ever. :)

So, in the Christmas vein, here's a story that Trav and I heard on the way back to Radford on Christmas day. We were cruising through AM stations to find some good talk radio (we're addicted) and we stumbled across a station that was doing a Christmas special. For the most part it was hilarious (some of the high points were a raccoon (or maybe squirrel) stealing a guy's mittens and claiming that they guys had written "Silent Night" and invented toast), but towards the end they had a really great (true) story about Mike Royko's experience selling Christmas trees when he was younger (originally printed in his column). Enjoy! Oh, and Merry Christmas...sorry I'm a few days late!


The conversation at the bar got around to Christmas trees. Somebody had
mentioned how much they cost today and what a pain in the neck it is
to go out in the bitter cold and shop around for a good one.

"Nah," said Slats Grobnik. "There`s nothing to it; not if you know
what you`re doing."

What makes you an expert?

"I used to work in a tree lot when I was a young guy," said Slats.
"My uncle used to sell them in the vacant lot next to his tavern. And
that`s when I learned the secret."

What secret?

"The secret of having the most beautiful tree you ever saw."

That`s easy. The secret is to go out with a pocket full of money and
spend what it takes to buy the best tree.

Slats shook his head. "Uh-uh. Money`s not the secret."

So, tell us the secret.

"Awright. It was a long time ago, maybe 30 years. I was in the lot and
it was the night before Christmas Eve, about a half hour before I was
going to close up. I hadn`t seen a customer in two hours.

"I had maybe a couple dozen trees left, and most of `em weren`t much to
look at. By the time you get that close to Christmas, they`ve been
picked over pretty good.

"So I`m standing by the kerosene heater when this young couple comes in
and starts looking at the trees.

"I don`t know `em by name, but I know they live down the street in the
basement of one of the dumpiest three-flats in the neighborhood.

"He`s a skinny young guy with a big Adam`s apple and a small chin. Not
much to look at. She`s kind of pretty, but they`re both wearing clothes that
look like they came out of the bottom bin at the Salvation Army store.

"It`s cold as a witch`s toes, but neither of them have got on gloves or
heavy shoes. So it`s easy to see that they`re having hard times with the
paychecks.

"Well, they start lifting the trees up and looking at `em and walking
around `em, the way people do. They finally find one that was pretty decent.
Not a great tree. But it wasn`t bad. And they ask me the price.

"It was about $8 or $9. They don`t say anything. They just put it down.

"They keep looking. They must have looked at every tree in the lot.
Like I said, there weren`t many that were any good. But every time I
gave the price on a decent one, they just shook their heads.

"Finally, they thank me and walk away. But when they get out on the
sidewalk she says something and they stand there talking for awhile. Then he
shrugs and they come back.

"I figure they`re going to take one of the good trees after all.

"But they go over to this one tree that had to be the most pathetic
tree we had. It was a Scotch pine that was OK on one side, but the
other side was missing about half the branches.

"They ask me how much that one was. I told them that they`d have a hard
time making it look good, no matter how much tinsel they put on it. But they
could have it for a couple of bucks.

"Then they picked up another one that was damned near as pathetic. Same
thing--full on one side, but scraggly on the other.

"They asked how much for that one. I told them that it was a deuce,
too. "So then she whispers something to him and he asks me if I`ll
take $3 for the two of them.

"Well, what am I going to do? Nobody`s going to buy those trees anyway,
so I told them they had a deal. But I tell them, what do you want with two
trees? Spend a few dollars more and get yourself a nice tree.

"She just smiled and said they wanted to try something. So they gave me
the $3 and he carried one of them and she took the other.

"The next night, I happen to be walking past their building. I look
down at the window and I can see a tree. I couldn`t see it all, but
what there was looked good.

"The lights are on, so I figure, what the heck. I knock on the door.
They open it and I tell them I noticed the tree and I was just curious.

"They let me in. And I almost fell over. There in this tiny parlor was
the most beautiful tree I ever saw. It was so thick it was almost like
a bush. You couldn`t see the trunk.

"They told me how they did it. They took the two trees and worked the
trunks close together so they touched where the branches were thin.

"Then they tied the trunks together with wire. But when the branches
overlapped and came together, it formed a tree so thick you couldn`t see the
wire. It was like a tiny forest of its own.

"The two of them looked so happy with it that it made me feel good the
rest of the week.

"And thinking of those two orphan trees, which would have been tossed
out if they hadn`t come along, made me feel good, too.

"So that`s the secret. You take two trees that aren`t perfect, that
have flaws, that might even be homely, that maybe nobody else would
want."

But if you put them together just right, you can come up with something
really beautiful.

"Like two people, I guess."

--Mike Royko